A website dedicated to informing viewers of ways to improve mental health and discussing various topics that crop up in Psychology, as well as discussing books, films, documentaries and anything else that is of interest to psychologists, budding or otherwise, out there.
Everyone feels some type of way about their appearance. I really wish we could stay kids forever completely unconcerned about our appearance and weight and whether people are looking and judging us. Alas, this is not the case. I recently came across the perfect paragraph that describes how I, and most likely, many others feel about how we look. It is from Yes, Please by Amy Poehlr and you can read it below.
This ultimately sums up, very eloquently, how I feel and I imagine how many other people feel to and it is utter misery. You feel terrible because you're not as pretty or funny or smart as your friends are and then you feel despair because you have so much when others have so little and yet you seem to complain all the time and stare hatefully at your pores in the mirror. It just, it sucks, simply put.
I wish there was some miracle that could make you love yourself, I am a firm believer that people only feel truly happy in their own skin when someone fully appreciates and adores them. Many people imply that unless you are happy within yourself then you won't find love, that is bullshit. Learning to love yourself comes solely from your experience of love given to you by other people, family, friends, lovers, they effect you so deeply.
We all have days when we are not concerned with how we look, but at some point you catch sight of yourself and you can't help but wishing for more. And then you feel shitty about it. I don't have the cure for this, I sincerely wish that I did. All I can say is if you think how you look sucks do something, if you can, to make yourself happier about your appearance. Buy a new dress, paint your nails, pluck your eyebrows, dress up as a clown and then take off the makeup to reveal your tan skin underneath the white paint. Just do something, stop wallowing in misery and jealously searching Google Images for Megan Fox. Thats all the advice I have to give at the moment.
It is the summer, meaning the time for pool parties and suntan lotion but also it is the time where everyone finds out whether the blood, sweat and tears they shed in their past academic year obtained the desired results. This goes for university/college students as well as those still at school. There is so much anxiety and stress surrounding exams and results, it often feels like it is never going to end, and furthermore, when you get your results some of us are constantly berating ourselves for not doing better. Or even worse, comparing ourselves to those who did brilliantly which ultimately leads to staring in the mirror at 3am and asking yourself why you're so stupid? (Disclaimer: That is not healthy. Do not do that.)
Today, I got some valuable advice today. In a society obsessed with grades and academic achievement, it is hard to stay focused on your own personal goals. It is especially difficult to look past the roadblocks and disappointments and see the future you previously envisioned when you were fresh and shiny and new and not beaten down by the APA exam board. Well, let me tell you, regardless of what ever result you got that future is still very much there and it is definitely still a possibility. All this negativity, concern and comparison will not lead to anything good; give yourself a few days to mourn what could have been, have a few drinks and cry on your friend's shoulder then move on. Remind yourself why you want this. Why you wanted to be in this career in the first place. Why you would be better at your dream job than anybody else in the world. You have to believe in yourself if you want others to believe in you.
Which brings me to the actual advice I got:
It is not always the brightest people that succeed. It's the hungriest. So don't worry about your grades, worry about your drive.
That is not to say that you are not bright, people don't do as well as they would have thought for so many different reasons. Not everyone can get a first or a distinction or A*, and life is a lot more about what degree classification you got (saying that, I still wish I had got a first, god damn), it's about your experiences and making the most of the opportunities that come your way. The most important thing is: don't give up. It's still worth it, and these setbacks should just make you want it more.
You are smart, you are beautiful and you are important.
- The Help
I hope this post helped you in some small way. Please leave your thoughts and experiences in a comment below, that would be wonderful. Have a lovely day and take care.
I don't know about you, but I am unquestionably guilty of putting things off and then in retrospect making excuses about why I didn't do something. Honestly, most of the time I just forget but that still is no excuse. I owe it to myself to remember to do certain things, because eventually they all just pile up and I feel like I have an overwhelming amount of stuff to do. With a little organisation a lot of stress and guilt can be avoided.
The most common excuse for me is "I'll do it later", or "I'll start tomorrow". One example is my constant desire to begin a healthier lifestyle, exercising and eating healthier so I feel more confident in myself and my energy levels increase. Yet, this never happens. I just never do it. Because I am always making excuses. Enough is enough. So, if you have similar troubles and you're perpetually postponing things until a later date, such as, food shopping, cleaning, even really simple things like replying to a text keep reading for some tips to stay on top of your daily tasks and help you start doing today what you would usually leave till tomorrow. Granted, exercise is a tough one to stick to because it is so unbearable painful. Andy knows.
The number one thing that helps me and is also oddly satisfying: lists. I love lists. There is something about ticking a box, or crossing off a task that sets off a feeling of peace inside my soul. All is well with the world. At the start of the week write down all the things you want to accomplish that week, work goals, cleaning the house, finishing assignments, applying to courses, jobs etc. Then, whatever they may be, break them up into days and then as each day comes along you know you have a quota to fill. If you're anything like me and you blast through those tasks because it is reminiscent of achieving a sticker at school for good work then you will probably finish a few tasks assigned to the next day and you will feel excessively good about yourself. But that's okay, because you are being productive. This is a good tip for revision as well, it's a great way of keeping you on track, focused and motivated. You could do it with exercise, start small and then gradually do more throughout the week. Lists help with everything. I have a whiteboard which I use occasionally to organise my day and a Study Planner that I will now use to organise my life and not my class schedule.
The next important step you can take is developing a routine, when you don't have a job or any other pressing commitment (degree, school etc.) it can be difficult to have a structured routine. The simplest way to fix that is to make one, and make one that fits around your goals. I am currently in the midst of cleaning out my student house, which involves getting rid of a lot of stuff, I am also researching courses, volunteering positions, scheduling interviews whilst scanning the internet for suitable jobs. I am a total insomniac and because I am running on my own time I sleep whenever I want. Which is terrible for me, hence the reason I am writing this post ridiculously early in the morning. Therefore, a routine is so important. Wake up early, the earlier the better if you ask me, but I would settle for around eight or nine in the morning. Have breakfast and plan out your day, do you need to go to the bank or return something? Run your errands as early as possible, be dressed and ready for the day. When you return home you can tackle chores, research, cleaning, whatever. It's just important that you wake up and go to sleep at a reasonable time and that you leave the house at least once a day. This might seem really obvious to most people, but being a student I know I am not the only one reluctant to leave the house unless absolutely necessary.
The last thing I want to say is that by putting it off you are only effecting yourself. You will feel much better if you start now, ignore all those inane excuses and just get to it. You are your own worst enemy.. What are you going to do?
Certainly, we all experience moments when we feel less than stellar. You know those days when literally nothing is going your way, and you start to question why you even bothered to get out of bed that morning. Or, even, why you exist in the first place if it's a particularly crappy day. Well, there are an innumerable amount of actions you take to turn that frown upside down, and Lily Melrose (one of my favourite YouTubers) helpfully created a video detailing 25 small ways you can make yourself happy right now. You can watch the video below, and keep reading for ten things that instantly improve my mood.
I think it's important to remember how fortunate you are and that whatever you are going through, no matter how terrible and unbearable, it will pass. Remember "it's not a bad life, just a bad day". If you find that you often feel very down and miserable for reasons out of your control then it might be useful to make a list of things that used to make you happy. Every time you feel sad, choose an option from that list and see if it helps improve your mood. I'll list ten things I do that make me happier below, I apologise as some of them Lily mentioned in the video.
1. Tea. Literally the best thing.
2. Do, at least, one productive thing. Typically, for me, this is almost always a very boring task like going to the bank, replying to an email, tweaking my CV. These are things I always put off because I am a born procrastinator, but at least if you have tackled at least one task you know it hasn't been a waste of a day.
3. Laughter is always the best medicine. The most wasted of all days is one without laughter. So spend time with friends that never fail to crack you up, or if the thought of leaving your house amplifies your misery watch a funny show or film. I love Parks and Recreation, I laugh out loud every few minutes, it's a wonderful show that I am completely hooked on.
4. Arrange events, even a simple meeting with a friend, or buying a day ticket to London, it will give you something to look forward to. If you have the funds plan a holiday.
5. YouTube. I could watch YouTube videos incessantly, I have learnt so much from just watching YouTube, so many amazing tips and tricks and I have discovered life-changing products. If you're a makeup and beauty fanatic like me I recommend Glam Life Guru aka Tati Westbrook, Huda Kattan, Lisa Eldridge, Wayne Goss and I Covet Thee. All brilliant channels, I am subscribed to over one hundred, but these are the best. For funny rather than informative videos I recommend iisuperwomanii; funniest person on the net.
6. Write it down. Write what is getting you down, or leaving you feeling frustrated and overwhelmed. It acts as an outlet when you dispel the words onto a page, and it passes some time where all you were going to do is ruminate over the object of your misery.
7. Bubble baths, work every time, I always read in the bath and it is the only place in the world where I feel completely alone, it's totally private and perfect. Reading is one of my favourite things to do.
8. Be nice. If you're having a shitty day being the reason someone else smiles can honestly feel amazing, so just be kind. I always give heartfelt compliments to people, because on some days I just have no filter. You can make someone's day just by being nice. Or if you don't feel like talking, buy a homeless person a sandwich.
9. Candles always make me feel better, burning a heavenly scented candle improves my mood immediately. My favourite scent is vanilla at the moment, I just can't get enough. I don't burn candles often, so it acts as a treat.
10. Another failsafe way to improve my mood is with food, if I feel like shit I will walk out the door and buy all my favourite chocolate, I'll buy ice cream, Pringles, whatever I fancy. I just throw caution to the wind. Donuts are always a good choice.
This post ended up being longer than I thought, I hope it helped you in some way or at least gave you some ideas for the next time you're not feeling your best. Thank you very much for reading, please leave a comment telling me how you cheer yourself up I would love to hear it. Don't forget to follow if you wish to, you can subscribe via email.
Hello, this is the millionth blog I have created and something I have wanted to do for, honestly, such a long time. I am about to graduate from The University of Warwick with a BSc in Psychology and I'm scared. I have no idea what I am doing, if I'll ever find a job, let alone the one I want, and leaving university behind is, in some ways, a terrifying experience. This transition will be hard, there are just as many things that I won't miss compared to what I will miss.
I'll miss my friends. The freedom of living in your own space, choosing when you want to be social, or when you want to be alone and binge-watch Parks and Rec. I'll definitely miss being able to shower at weird times of the day without anyone giving me shit for it, and being able to spend as long as I want in the shower without someone lecturing me about the price of water. I'll miss the academia, I can't recall a time when I didn't have to submit essays, or show up to classes, lectures, or seminars. I'll even, bizarrely enough, miss the pressure of revision time because it gives me a purpose. I'll miss buying a suitcase worth of junk food because I am ravenously hungry when I pass Tesco, and visiting all the cute places on campus. Most of all, I'll miss the student discount.
However, I won't miss the stress of deadlines and annoying nonsensical emails. The way the buses seem to be the bane of my existence as I can never be on time anywhere, I am either ridiculously early or ridiculously late. I won't miss the less than stellar condition of our living accommodation, or the general phobic reaction all students seem to have to cleaning. I won't miss the weird noises I always hear when I am in the house alone, or the fear that someone is constantly trying to break in. I won't miss my utter horror every time my laptop decides to do something spontaneous which never fails to give me a heart attack. The constant worry that I am not working hard enough or that I am not having enough fun. I definitely won't miss the crappy food or my newfound addiction to Domino's Pizza and Pringles. Bring on the fruit and veg.
Overall, one could say it is pretty balanced. Lately, my mood has been fluctuating all over the place and it occurs to me that I am not alone. I am sure many of you might be experiencing something similar and I just want to share my experience with you, as well as any tips I learn along the way. Above all, I want to be honest with you and be someone you feel comfortable sharing your thoughts with, as I am always happy to lend an ear to whoever needs it.
In addition, in spite of a five-year long relationship with Psychology that started in Year 12, I am reluctant to let go of it, and even more importantly I refuse to forget some of the fascinating things I have learnt over the years. Hence, this blog is all about Psychology and Mental Health. I hope you enjoy this journey with me, and it helps you in some small way. Please leave a comment with your thoughts and suggestions as I really want this blog to be helpful to people like yourself. Thank you very much for reading. Take care.
